Love Addiction, What Is It?

What is love addiction?  Often in clinical settings such as a physician or counselor’s office, love addiction is overlooked or minimized. That means, the behaviors discussed or uncovered there are dismissed as trivial to other explanations for the client’s/patient’s complaints, and what often results is the treatment for those complaints fail.

Love addiction is often misdiagnosed when a counselor or physician understands their client or patient’s seeking of relationships as their desire for partner intimacy. Often that is the good case, yet for many others what is actually happening is the seeking of relationships has little to do with partner intimacy. It is, rather, often the pursuit of a “falling in love” high that has over time taken the place of any intimate partner connection. The horrible result is isolation, chronic isolation.

Do you know of someone that groans complaints that something is very wrong with their intimate relationships? Often love addiction will have nothing to do with their problems, and often it would be a mistake to not include love addiction as a possibility.

Love addiction is the process that powerfully disrupts the ability to bond with another person or persons in meaningful and reciprocating ways. The process love addiction takes might easier be thought of as a pattern, which there are many. And these patterns are diverse. What they have in common is the inability to maintain balanced, stable, and nurturing connections needed for healthy relationships. For example, some men repetitively choose relationships with partners they see as “perfect” in someway, and when the perfection is not realized they dramatically end the relationship. Another example is a married woman that shuts out her sexuality from her spouse as a way to avoid a sexual relationship with him though she is secretly sexual in someway, e.g., masturbates to pornography, uses online dating sites, etc.  

Consider the following few questions. If you or someone you know can answer yes to most, there may be a problem that is overwhelming your life.  

  • Do you or another you know blame others for not meeting your sexual needs?
  • Do you or another you know spend too much time in online chat rooms or dating sites?
  • Do you or another you know spend too much time viewing pornographic material online?
  • Do you or another you know seek sexual approval from others more than is seems others do?
  • Do you or another you know spend too much time being seductive, flirting, or seeking romance in some way?
  • Do you or another you know seek romantic or sexual relationships with inappropriate people, e.g., a married person, your therapist, your clergy, complete strangers, a subordinate, etc.

There is help. Call today. 208-755-7114