The Road To Healthy Intimacy During Sex Addiction Recovery

Sex addicts on the road to recovery face numerous challenges in their day-to-day lives. Apart from struggling with the symptoms and consequences of addiction, they also have to navigate the tricky aspects of having a relationship with a loved one.

One challenge that many recovering sex addicts face is developing a healthy intimacy with their partners. Given the nature of sex addiction, many individuals find it difficult to engage in sex without falling back to destructive habits and behavior patterns. This can be a major obstacle to forming a healthy relationship with a loved one.

The Challenges Of Intimacy And Sex Addiction Recovery

The inability to become intimate with a partner can result in an even more complex set of problems. In some cases, the partner of the recovering addict may feel neglected or unwanted. This could lead to resentment or bring up old hurts related to the recovering person’s previous behavior.

The addict in recovery may, in turn, develop feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy due to their inability to fulfill their partner’s needs. They may become depressed and anxious, and consequently, seek comfort by reverting to previous behavior patterns.

But it doesn’t have to happen that way. A recovering sex addict can develop a healthy sexual relationship with a loved one. Extensive therapy combined with hard work and the love, support, and understanding of a committed partner could make healthy intimacy a reality for sex addicts.

Self-Control: The Key To A Healthy Intimate Relationship

One of the essential aspects of developing a healthy intimate relationship is self-control. To be sure, self-control is a significant part of the recovery process as a whole. But the ability to control one’s sexual urges plays an especially crucial role in helping recovering sex addicts form healthier bonds with their partners.

It has to be said that along with self-control, recovering sex addicts should also have a sufficient degree of self-awareness. The sex addict should realize that the first step toward controlling unhealthy and destructive urges is abstinence. Therapists usually advise recovering sex addicts to abstain from all types of sexual contact for at least three to five days or longer, if possible.

During the abstinence period, it might also be helpful to be aware of urges and triggers and note when they occur. Doing so could help identify challenging periods and factors that could compel one to engage in negative behavior. This could help identify events that encourage the addiction and possibly help overcome them.

5 Essential Characteristics Of A Healthy Intimate Sexual Relationship

After going through a period of abstinence, the recovering addict may feel ready to begin working toward a healthy intimate relationship. This can be done by keeping the following in mind:

Consent

Any sexual encounter between two willing partners should be based on mutual consent. This is often signified by verbally agreeing to sex by saying “yes” or communicating another affirmative statement. It may also be necessary to reaffirm consent from time to time during the sex act.

Safety

The sex act should be safe for both partners. Every effort must be made to safeguard the health and well-being of both participants. This often involves taking steps to prevent sexually transmitted infection (STIs) transmission and unwanted pregnancy. It could also mean avoiding acts that cause pain and discomfort.

Satisfaction

Both partners should derive satisfaction from the sex act, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Although there will be times when one or both partners may not be satisfied during sex, the goal should be to ensure that both participants find the act satisfying on multiple levels.

Compromise

Any healthy relationship requires a certain degree of compromise. Both partners should work toward fulfilling each other’s needs in a way that doesn’t make anyone feel pressured or uncomfortable. This usually involves setting boundaries that both partners agree to accept.

Respect

Ultimately, the relationship should be built on respect. Whether this involves treating each other as equal partners in the relationship or keeping their well-being in mind at all times, respect will help establish a mutually beneficial relationship based on trust and affection.

Remember that a healthy relationship‒whether sexual or otherwise‒involves communication and respecting each other’s boundaries. Combined with therapy and a focus on the other partner’s physical and emotional needs, it will be possible for recovering sex addicts to enjoy a healthy intimate relationship in time.

Testimonials

"Coeur d'Alene Counseling understood the severity of my illness and helped me resolve rooted issues formed as a young girl. The program’s curricula and methodology allowed me to reconnect to my family."

Client
"This program allowed me to heal from the destructive patterns of Love Addiction. I now live a life filled with hope and serenity. "

Client
"I was unaware that Love Addiction had such a powerful control over my mind. It wasn’t until my life became unmanageable and chaotic that I sought help. Coeur d'Alene Counseling’s expertise and guidance gave me tools to find freedom. I am now a whole, authentic woman who lives a peaceful, purposed filled life. "

Client
"My staff says that I am more approachable and much better about communicating with them. I am more present to their needs and I am being told that their work environment is much better place. I am so grateful to Coeur d'Alene Counseling!"

- Patient
"My children say they see a change in me. They say that they feel really loved by me. There is something different about me now. It’s through the tools I have learned through Coeur d'Alene Counseling that has helped me to be a better father."

- Patient
"I felt that I could never be helped because my addiction wasn’t something that could be treated. But I was wrong – thank God I found Coeur d'Alene Counseling."

- Patient
"I didn’t realize that this sense of security I developed with myself and my wife was even possible until Coeur d'Alene Counseling came into my life."

- Patient
"The program helped me to find myself – figure out who the real me is. I found a sense of wellbeing that has opened doors I never knew were available."

- Patient
"Coeur d'Alene Counseling’s program changed my life. The course of my marriage was an almost certain divorce. Now it’s an authentic trusting and loving relationship."

- Patient
"Rarely was there a moment that I did not feel like I was at my end. This program has taught me to strengthen my mind, and sobriety is leading me to a future."

- Patient
"I have a relationship with my kids again."

- Patient
"This program helped me become the man my wife wanted."

- Patient
"Sex addiction nearly took my life. Recovery has saved it"

- Patient
"Dread was my most feared feeling. Now I can hardly remember feeling it."

- Patient
"The program has helped me begin loving myself"

- Patient
"I thought I would never find some peace. I found some."

- Patient