Should Porn Addiction Be Considered As Cheating

Being involved with a partner with a porn addiction can be detrimental to your relationship and your self-esteem. But the question of whether viewing pornography is the same as infidelity depends on who you ask and their definition of ‘infidelity’. 

For some people, cheating strictly involves physical contact with another person. For others, emotional involvement is the defining characteristic of infidelity. 

What constitutes ‘cheating’?

Going by most people’s definition, cheating involves having sexual relations with an individual outside the boundaries of a monogamous relationship. In this case, the object of the cheating partner’s attention is a real person. 

Within these parameters, there are many activities that the partner could reasonably consider as cheating. It could involve hooking up with other people, for example, or going to strip clubs. For others, it could mean consensual, physical-sexual contact with another person that occurs on a regular basis. 

People that define infidelity by these characteristics may not consider viewing porn as cheating. While the partner may not approve of it because of personal or moral reasons, they may not consider it cheating because there is no physical contact involved. 

The line between live and static porn

The line begins to blur somewhat when the person in question accesses live porn online. The issue is not so much that the porn is accessed on the internet, which has pretty much become the de facto platform by which pornography is accessed nowadays. Instead, the partner’s objection may stem from the fact that the incidents involve interaction with another person. 

Consider the way that people access porn online. For many people, viewing porn on the internet only goes so far as watching sexually explicit videos or photographs. It is essentially a one-way process in which the material is accessed by a viewer. No interaction with a live human takes place. 

On the other hand, there are those that engage with cam models‒that is, people that perform sexual acts involving a range of offered services or specific acts requested by the viewer. 

Viewing these cam videos may take place in real time, or they may involve requesting videos and downloading them for later viewing at the viewer’s convenience. But whether or not the videos are live, what might make it ‘cheating’ is that there is a degree of interaction that takes place between the performer and the viewer. Partners of people that patronize these services could reasonably feel that their partner is engaging in infidelity.  

Another online activity that involves some degree of interaction is “sexting”, which is a portmanteau of ‘sex’ and ‘texting’. As the phrase implies, this is when sexual messages are exchanged between two people via cellphone SMS messaging or online chats. Sexting may involve two people involved in a relationship or it may be a paid service. 

Again, the defining factor in this case is the interaction between the person involved in a relationship and the other party. They don’t even necessarily have to meet face-to-face for the ‘clients’ partner to consider it cheating. In such cases, it may be enough that the partner in the relationship is engaging in sexual conduct with another person, never mind that it is being done remotely.  

The effect of porn on a relationship

Perhaps the issue of whether or not porn addiction qualifies as cheating should be decided upon by the relationship partners. There is plenty of evidence that suggests that porn addiction is detrimental to a relationship and to a person’s life in general. It can interfere with the bond that partners and spouses would normally have with each other and affect family and work structures. 

Anyone who is in a relationship with a porn addict might ask themselves whether their partner’s behavior is causing them grief or stress. Do they feel that their partner is withdrawing or holding back from the relationship as a consequence? Do they lie or conceal their behavior and become angry and defensive when confronted? If that is the case, their porn use may be an addiction,  Either way, most often porn use often causes just as much damage as being involved in an adulterous relationship with a third party. 

Consideration for the partner

Ultimately, the issue with porn addiction is about trust, commitment, and consideration. If porn addicts persist in their behavior even if they know that it causes their partner distress, the conscientious and logical thing to do would be to stop, whether or not they are sexually involved with another person.