Intimacy During Recovery – Is it Possible?

There are plenty of misconceptions when it comes to intimacy during recovery. Many people seem to think that once they admit to sexual addiction and seek help through recovery, they will never be allowed to have sex again. This simply isn’t true.

There are many actions that need to take place before you can become intimate with a partner, but rest assured – the day will come, once you have become a healthier, happier you.

Understanding and accepting sexual addiction

The first step in recovery is understanding and accepting sexual addiction. Admitting you have a problem and accepting that you need to change is the hardest part. After that is done, you can start to analyze all of you addictive habits in an effort to slowly change your behavior and mentality.

Addictive habits

There are plenty of addictive habits that signal and provoke sexual misbehavior, some of which include:

● Seeking power, control, or manipulation over your partner
● Going to great lengths to hide your actions and behavior from others
● Confusing intense emotion for intimacy and love
● Trying to avoid emotions and feelings that deeply affect you
● Focusing more on the past than on the future

Making a commitment

If some of these habits sound familiar, don’t worry. You can always change your behavior by first acknowledging its harm to you and to the people you love, and then forgiving yourself for it. Doing so opens doors for you to develop a healthy, loving commitment with a partner going forward in recovery.

Moving forward in a relationship

Once you and your partner agree to make a healthy and loving commitment to one another, built on trust and faith, then you can move forward in a relationship together. Not sure how to do this? Ask your mentors or your support group. You and your partner do not need to make this journey alone.

Healthy communication

To move forward during recovery, you need healthy communication. This means being open and honest with each other about your thoughts, feelings, concerns, and desires. This means baring it all to each other so that you may start rebuilding a better foundation together. If you can’t be honest with one another, you won’t be able to engage in true intimacy.

Communicating clearly and effectively

To develop healthy communication, you need to communicate clearly and effectively. State your thoughts concisely and then sit quietly while your partner does the same. Allow each other the opportunity to say what you need to and explore all emotions and feelings, good and bad, with an even tone and collected attitude. Would you like some tips on rebuilding your relationship together? Read our previous blog post here.

Intimacy in recovery

Once you are able to make a commitment to each other and develop healthy communication habits, then intimacy will soon follow. Intimacy means different things to different people. Some people consider a close bond and connection as intimacy, while others think of sex. Whatever it may mean to you, you and your partner will find a connection that you never thought possible because you will have worked hard to find it together.

Ask for help

Are you struggling with sexual addiction and you would like to seek professional advice? Ask for help. At Coeur d’Alene Counseling, we help those lost in their sexual addictions by teaching you how to safely go to the source of your old wounds. Together, we will question the rules that fester you and recreate new rules that heal those wounds.

Call us today and get started down the path of recovery!

Testimonials

"Coeur d'Alene Counseling understood the severity of my illness and helped me resolve rooted issues formed as a young girl. The program’s curricula and methodology allowed me to reconnect to my family."

Client
"This program allowed me to heal from the destructive patterns of Love Addiction. I now live a life filled with hope and serenity. "

Client
"I was unaware that Love Addiction had such a powerful control over my mind. It wasn’t until my life became unmanageable and chaotic that I sought help. Coeur d'Alene Counseling’s expertise and guidance gave me tools to find freedom. I am now a whole, authentic woman who lives a peaceful, purposed filled life. "

Client
"My staff says that I am more approachable and much better about communicating with them. I am more present to their needs and I am being told that their work environment is much better place. I am so grateful to Coeur d'Alene Counseling!"

- Patient
"My children say they see a change in me. They say that they feel really loved by me. There is something different about me now. It’s through the tools I have learned through Coeur d'Alene Counseling that has helped me to be a better father."

- Patient
"I felt that I could never be helped because my addiction wasn’t something that could be treated. But I was wrong – thank God I found Coeur d'Alene Counseling."

- Patient
"I didn’t realize that this sense of security I developed with myself and my wife was even possible until Coeur d'Alene Counseling came into my life."

- Patient
"The program helped me to find myself – figure out who the real me is. I found a sense of wellbeing that has opened doors I never knew were available."

- Patient
"Coeur d'Alene Counseling’s program changed my life. The course of my marriage was an almost certain divorce. Now it’s an authentic trusting and loving relationship."

- Patient
"Rarely was there a moment that I did not feel like I was at my end. This program has taught me to strengthen my mind, and sobriety is leading me to a future."

- Patient
"I have a relationship with my kids again."

- Patient
"This program helped me become the man my wife wanted."

- Patient
"Sex addiction nearly took my life. Recovery has saved it"

- Patient
"Dread was my most feared feeling. Now I can hardly remember feeling it."

- Patient
"The program has helped me begin loving myself"

- Patient
"I thought I would never find some peace. I found some."

- Patient