Can A Porn Addiction Destroy A Marriage?

Marriage is as much a choice as it is a challenge. While every day you must choose your partner, you must do so while facing dire challenges like stress at work, finances and a growing list of bills to pay. Daily challenges like these that can lead someone to porn addiction. As such, porn addiction can pose a significant challenge for a marriage.

Porn addiction can have many damaging effects on a marriage’s intimacy and trust.

Intimacy Effects of Porn Addiction

Expectations

Pornography can create an illusion of unrealistic sexual standards. The images can directly affect and distort how the mind perceives a normal naked human body and their sexual behavior. Those experiencing porn addiction may find themselves no longer attracted to their partner, even if their partner is in great shape and doing what would usually be sexually satisfying.

Additionally, sex in a marriage is supposed to be a mutually satisfying experience. Porn emphasizes self-gratification through controlling or dominating someone. In real life, this can translate to sexual behavior in the bedroom that can be violent or harmful to your spouse or self.

Fidelity

For those experiencing porn addiction in a monogamous relationship, it can feel like you’re avoiding cheating because it’s not physical contact. To your partner, it can feel like a way of avoiding sex with them. This creates a disconnect between partners with intimacy and how they seek intimacy. When choosing whether to have sex with your partner, your porn addiction might lead you to choose porn instead.

Additionally, excessive porn use can change your dedication to remain monogamous. Porn frequently reminds your brain that there are other partners out there.

Withdrawal

Like other addictions, removing the substance of the addiction will lead to withdrawal symptoms. Withdrawal can manifest as depression, irritability, or feeling discontent. This can strain intimate communication with your partner and lead to gaps in mutual understanding.

Will You Lose Your Partner’s Trust?

While your marriage may be strong, trust is very hard to earn back once it’s lost. Unless your partner is aware of your addiction, they will be searching for an explanation for the intimacy issues in your marriage. As you become more connected to the virtual world, your partner will wonder why they feel disconnected from you. Many partners of porn addicts experience loneliness and isolation. They may even blame themselves. The circumstances in which they discover your addiction and your reaction can damage their trust even further. It is very possible that you will lose your partner’s trust due to porn addiction.

How to Address a Porn Addiction and Save a Marriage?

If You Are Addicted…

The fact that you are reading this means that not all is lost. Try to get ahead of your addiction. Sit down with your spouse and address what has been going on. Assure them that this is not their fault and give them the floor to discuss how your addiction has affected them.

Finally, make a plan with them for how you will beat this addiction to ensure accountability. Counseling is the most effective treatment for porn addiction and should be done with a certified sex addiction therapist. Counseling will give you space to address the underlying issues of porn addiction and the tools for beating this addiction.

If Your Partner is Addicted…

Gently discuss how you feel without directing blame. Lament that this is about the two of you versus the issue, not you versus your spouse. If this is your first time discussing their addiction, it is likely that they will deny their issues.

It may help to reach out to a therapist specializing in sex addiction and get feedback from them. Trust the experts for resources and ideas for what to say to your partner. Counseling will give your partner the tools and space to confront their porn addiction and receive treatment.

Coeur d’Alene Counseling

Coeur d’Alene Counseling is the Inland Northwest’s Sexual Addiction Treatment Center. Located in beautiful downtown Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, our team is dedicated to treating the devastating effects of pornography addiction. We help both addicts and their partners through the turmoil, confusion, and pain. For more information, please visit our website or call our office at (208) 755-7114.

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