Addicted to Love in Spokane and Coeur d’Alene

I am addicted to love and the only way I know to deeply love someone is to have an immense amount of sex with her, and if she is unobtainable in any way, I become intensely lovesick. After sharing this, my client said that he falls in love, gets into [romantic] relationships, and breaks up easier than others and finds this depressing. Any attractive woman that shows him any level of attention creates zealous and careless attempts to begin dating them – even if he is already in a relationship.

Love addicts say they fall in love; however it is actually infatuation. They actually are unable to care deeply about the well-being of their partners in the way love actually does. Their personal lives are often overwhelmed by cycles of disappointment and endless approval and affection needs. What they want is not possible. Personal limitations are not something they see, believe in, or accept. They often are in negative moods and experience disturbances such as sleep, work, and family problems. To avoid or limit these problems, they seek the next relationship hoping it to be extraordinary and permanent. They are not. Soon love addicts find their romantic relationships dissolved into boredom and stagnation, and the cycle begins again.

Love addiction is a disease of the brain driven not by love but by infatuation. Rather than producing love chemicals (oxytocin, vasopressin), love addicts’ brains produce phenethylamine. The brain responds to this chemical in much the same way as it would to cocaine. Infatuated love addicts have boundless energy, elation, and a remarkable sense of well-being as they seek their next relationship or hold onto the one they have. Soon, however, the euphoria dwindles. Quite evenings of cuddling and gazing are no longer enough and outside-of-the-relationship partner seeking restarts.

Is love a problem for you or someone you know? Consider the following statements. How many of these statements are true for you or someone you know?

Your friends or family suggest your romantic relationships are bad, but you do not agree.
You often find the need to have intense conversations about problems with your lover in unsuitable situations.
You break up and then seek to make up often – more than what other couples do.
In regards to your lover, you feel unable to control your feelings and/or behavior.
You periodically suspect that your relationship is on a downward spiral.
You feel some form of distress when your lover is not physically with you.

If two or more of these statements ring true, there might be a problem. There is help. Call today. 208–755–7114

For more information on the chemistry of addiction, read “Craving for Ecstasy & Natural Highs: A positive approach to mood alteration” by Harvey Milkman & Stanley Sunderwirth; Sage Publishing, 2010.

Testimonials

"Coeur d'Alene Counseling understood the severity of my illness and helped me resolve rooted issues formed as a young girl. The program’s curricula and methodology allowed me to reconnect to my family."

Client
"This program allowed me to heal from the destructive patterns of Love Addiction. I now live a life filled with hope and serenity. "

Client
"I was unaware that Love Addiction had such a powerful control over my mind. It wasn’t until my life became unmanageable and chaotic that I sought help. Coeur d'Alene Counseling’s expertise and guidance gave me tools to find freedom. I am now a whole, authentic woman who lives a peaceful, purposed filled life. "

Client
"My staff says that I am more approachable and much better about communicating with them. I am more present to their needs and I am being told that their work environment is much better place. I am so grateful to Coeur d'Alene Counseling!"

- Patient
"My children say they see a change in me. They say that they feel really loved by me. There is something different about me now. It’s through the tools I have learned through Coeur d'Alene Counseling that has helped me to be a better father."

- Patient
"I felt that I could never be helped because my addiction wasn’t something that could be treated. But I was wrong – thank God I found Coeur d'Alene Counseling."

- Patient
"I didn’t realize that this sense of security I developed with myself and my wife was even possible until Coeur d'Alene Counseling came into my life."

- Patient
"The program helped me to find myself – figure out who the real me is. I found a sense of wellbeing that has opened doors I never knew were available."

- Patient
"Coeur d'Alene Counseling’s program changed my life. The course of my marriage was an almost certain divorce. Now it’s an authentic trusting and loving relationship."

- Patient
"Rarely was there a moment that I did not feel like I was at my end. This program has taught me to strengthen my mind, and sobriety is leading me to a future."

- Patient
"I have a relationship with my kids again."

- Patient
"This program helped me become the man my wife wanted."

- Patient
"Sex addiction nearly took my life. Recovery has saved it"

- Patient
"Dread was my most feared feeling. Now I can hardly remember feeling it."

- Patient
"The program has helped me begin loving myself"

- Patient
"I thought I would never find some peace. I found some."

- Patient